18 July 2015

taking stock // 6


making: I have yet to discover a shampoo recipe that I'm solidly satisfied with. This one is simple and great for my hair, but my scalp is a sad, dry, flaky situation. If you have any sustainable, package-free ideas, please pass them along! I've been massaging Vitamin E oil into my scalp once a week or so, but am not making any progress. 

drinking: Iced coffee with a hearty splash of whole milk.

reading: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years (Donald Miller)

wanting: Alice to say her first words! There are so many on the tip of her tongue. She uses intonation and gesturing to communicate, but I'm pining for her to look at me and exclaim 'mama!'

watching: Guilty pleasure confession: Jake has been working lots of nights and weekends and when I'm feeling lonely (Alice is in bed, I'm eating dinner alone...) I have been turning on Friends. I've come to terms with the fact that I am Phoebe and Monica combined.

listening: Sing to me Sufjan.

eating: Kale pesto. Carrot top pesto. Turnip green pesto. All the pesto. Thanks CSA!

smelling: Our tomatoes and sugar snap peas are growing up a storm. My favorite smell in all the world may well be that fresh, green, soil-y smell of weeding the garden (especially around tomatoes). The lavender is going to town too, along with the lemonbalm. I can't help but pick a sprig or two every time I walk past.

wishing: That the heat didn't take quite so much out of Jake (damn you MS). He is strong and positive and would poo-poo me writing this, but, alas, I openly wish it all the same. Heat intolerance is pretty standard as far as MS symptoms go. Lame.  

enjoying: Errands with Alice have taken on a whole new flavor now that she's walking. She is incredibly outgoing and independent and toddling through wide isles at Costco, waving at shoppers, pointing at items, is almost more fun than a playground. 

loving: This short piece on motherhood, especially this quote: To become a mother, I had to learn how to care about someone more than I did about myself, and that was terrible. But who I am now is something more terrible: the protector who can’t always protect; the one with arms that are designed to hold, always having to let go...When I had only one child, she was so heavy. Now I can see that children are as light as air. They float past you, nudging against you like balloons as they ascend.

hoping: That our upcoming beach week vacation with family is restful, connected, rejuvenating, silly, slow, full. 

needing: To do my morning yoga more consistently.

feeling: I switched to a standing desk a couple weeks ago and my lower back and shins still scream at me for it at the end of every work day. RE: that yoga I need to implement more consistently. 

wearing: Linnie bought me Birks! My lazy arches are getting whipped back into shape. 

bookmarking: This piece on marriage, mostly because: One thing I love about marriage (and I love a lot of things about marriage) is that you can have a bad day or even a bad few years, full of doubt and fights and confusion and storming out of the house. But as long as you don’t get divorced, you are no less married than couples who never have a hint of trouble (I am told such people exist).


16 July 2015

the arc

I'm reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. In it he talks about what makes a good story- a strong narrative arc, compelling characters, conflict, transformation. He uses this image to talk about how we often fail to see God as a master storyteller. We look at a minuscule fraction of the manuscript, read a line or a paragraph, a chapter at most, and wonder why the story stinks, lacks resolution, leans toward pain and injustice. But, when you see the whole narrative arc? IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

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I never put written words to the impetus of the pain I experienced last summer. It was heartbreaking and too much for me to quite fathom at the time. I am thankful, so immensely thankful, to be a year away from it. Here is the gist: my employer screwed me. Cruelly. I was forced out, but not before I was put through the ringer over and over again. My boss lied, manipulated, and disregarded any semblance of kindness. I will never again take for granted working with leaders worth following.

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This week I received news that my proposal has been approved: my schedule will shift and now, two days a week, I will work from the flexibility of home, while Alice naps. My current boss advocated for me, believed in me, said she didn't want to "lose" me. She met with the uppity ups, went all the way to the top, drafted emails and letters on my behalf. She proved herself a leader over and over again.

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I do not pretend to understand the moral universe; the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways...but I am sure it bends towards justice. (Theodore Parker)

15 July 2015

crunch

Molars are putting up a strong fight against Alice's joy, but she is indomitable, especially when there are sugar snap peas to pick in the garden (and eat before making it back inside).





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