"It is a fact, however surprising."

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20 October 2014

Sitting in the Washington, D.C. airport, I wanted to shout "my life was just changed!" It was days before Christmas, December 2007, and I had just landed back on home soil after studying abroad in East Africa. The isolation of my experience was overwhelming. I wanted to announce my personal reality to those around me.

And how much more now, as a new mom, I feel this every day. When I am with Alice, she serves as a flashing, neon, drooling sign to my place in the scheme of things. When I am without her, the idea that those around me do not know that THIS is my life, THIS is how I have been so recently upheaved- they might not have any insight whatsoever into my emotional, physical, spiritual exhaustion- it fills me all the more with the isolating shadow of experience. I do not know whether to hang a sign around my neck that reads "new mom," or to delight in the anonymity.

Oh, the immaturity that experience reveals! This is reality every day, with every person we meet! How can we possibly know their unique battles and accomplishments, their very personhood. We are mysteries brushing shoulders in the grocery and speeding past on the interstate.


thoughtful thoughts // 31

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17 October 2014

She's a pensive one, our little Alice. Here's the rest of the quote:

Perhaps hopelessness is the very soil that nourishes human hope; perhaps one could never find sense in life without first experiencing its absurdity. 

Here's to embracing doubt and the promise of new hope. Here's to the absurdity of life and beginnings and endings. Here's to the weekend. Happy Friday.

5m

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09 October 2014

“I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.” 
― Charles Dickens
+ Sitting up on your own! Grasping and inspecting anything you can get your hands on! Suddenly these abilities appear and you're so blase about the whole thing. I, on the other hand, am left going "Jake! Jake! Do you see her? She's sitting up! Do you see? Jake!"

+ You are ticklish. Your armpits, the bottoms of your feet, your sweet, soft sides, your neck and cheeks- all of you, my love. Tickle time on the changing table is one of my favorite things.

+ You love food! You are interested in everything we eat and want to join the party. Your first taste of food was broccoli, but you didn't really eat any. You have totally chowed down on bananas and sweet potato though. Oh, how you enjoy eating smooshed banana! Speaking of which, you are BIG little lady! 16lbs and 28 inches long! Keep it up! I love how healthy and strong you are.

+ Bath time with daddy remains your favorite pastime of all, I think. You giggle and chat with him, splash and grab, and generally make precious, flirty eyes with the man of your heart.

+ You have gotten delightfully good at hugging. I get home and you snuggle into my neck and squeeze me tight. You have no idea how much I look forward to that moment all.day.long.

+ I cannot believe how much you have grown. Looking back at our monthly photo shoots is already staggering. You at one month? A different baby altogether! Your eruption into our world changed everything kiddo, but you didn't stop there. Every day is a new discovery, a shift in ability, an enthralling new endeavor. You are awesome. You change our world every day.

one month / two months / three months / four months

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