I am a shameless peacock.


28 January 2015

Sometimes you wake up in the wee hours to feed your young child and, upon completion of this task, sleep eludes you. The most incredible remedy for such an occurrence is to then, in those nimble, dreamy hours, receive the news that your brother has been published in the New Yorker. Shameless and inordinate levels of pride ensue.

Excuse my bragging (or don't for all I care!). MY BROTHER IS IN THE NEW YORKER. I am so proud of him.

start, you must


22 January 2015

Jake and I are still learning things about each other. What a relief. How exciting. And how honestly terrifying too- that we are married and have made a baby together, yet there are still surprising tidbits and intricate honesty to be unearthed. 

My physical goal for 2015 is to be able to do a handstand. I found a tutorial and have started practicing. We have a perfect portion of kitchen cabinet for stabilizing myself. My inability isn't linked so much to a lack of strength, as to a fear of being upside down and also of toppling over and hurting myself. I'm working on it. I'm gonna do it!

So, here's the discovery: Jake can handstand! He could even, at one point, walk on his hands. He would use this skill for pranks and general tomfoolery in college. My Jake? Can handstand? Who knew! I've been living with my dream handstand teacher for years without realizing it. 

taking stock // 2


18 January 2015

Photo by Sarah Leaman
making: Conversation. Jake and I have been talking big talks, thinking big thinks, and trying to have the courage to dream big dreams. I have honestly no idea where this will all take/lead us- that's where the courage comes in.

drinking: Jake's home brew. The keg is taking up a lot of space in our fridge, so the least I can do is help drink down the tap.

reading: Taproot Magazine. Such a beautiful publication. A quote from the editor's letter at the beginning of issue 9: I, too, learn more fully when I allow myself to fully inhale and exhale through our days...let go of self-doubt and fear of failure, and walk one foot in front of the other through my days of living, learning and taking it all in.

wanting: More opportunities to teach. I spent last Monday leading a seminar at my college alma mater. It was a dream. The day flew by and at the end I felt exhausted in those wonderful ways that help you sleep soundly and see the world in a brighter light the next morning. 

watching: Alice. Also, Parenthood (when Alice is napping). 

listening: The Beatles' "1" compilation album. Perfect sing along, dance-in-the-kitchen music.

eating: Snacking on clementines

smelling: Our dogs are stinky. Its winter. They're cooped up. Poor, stinky pups. 

wishing: That bills paid themselves and dust never built up on ceiling fans. Alas, adulthood has taught me otherwise.

enjoying: Seeing the whites of Alice's top four teeth all clamoring through her gums. They are bright and snaggly and the eye teeth are a hair ahead of the middle ones. Hilarious.

loving: Alice's smile when she wakes up happy. I open her bedroom door and find her in crawling position, face peaking over the rails of her crib, cheeks flushed, open-mouth grinning.

hoping: For something to tip us in some sort of direction. 

needing: To remain in the courageous tension of seeking and dreaming, but waiting to act.

feeling: Calm. Warm inside, brisk outside. Dry. I've got the mid-winter cracking skin, no matter how much lotion I apply and water I drink.

wearing: Cozy L.L. Bean slippers and fleece lined leggings. Just the other day I noticed my big toe peaking through the right slipper. I can't be bothered.

bookmarking: Connie's illustrations. Love 'em. 
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